Aaron Doesn’t Want to be “That Guy”

“That guy.”

You know, the one who sidles up to every hot woman at the gym and says “hey, you must come here often.”

That guy who plays the numbers game, coming on to as many women as possible, hoping one will take the bait.

Nope, Aaron’s not that guy, but then again, he does have eyes, and feelings, and there are all those pheromones floating around the gym.

So Aaron’s not looking at every woman (because he’s not that guy), but he does notice one in particular.  And, guess what? He misses the opportunity.  Watch the short video here.

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The Name Game: Top 5 Laughable Pickup Lines, Take 4

Wednesday = hump day = laughable lines to get you closer to the weekend. Today’s lines are all about memorable introductions. Not smooth introductions. Not classy introductions. But definitely memorable.

1. “My name is Doug. That’s god spelled backwards with a little bit of u wrapped up in it.”
2. “Is your name David? I want to be Goliath and fall for you.”
3. “I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.”
4. “My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me all you want.”
5. “My name is Justin. Justin-credible.”

Scroll down the blog to find many more laughable pickup lines…or add your own in our comments section.

Coming up next Wednesday: Beware the Braniacs: Top 5 Laughable Pickup Lines, Take 5

Top 5 Worth-It Pickup Lines

I hope you’re getting a laugh out of the bad pickup lines I’ve been posting each Wednesday. But this post is for those of you who are thinking, hey, I could use some help here. Tell me what I should say, not what I shouldn’t.

So here you are. If the idea of pickup lines make you squeamish, think of these as conversation starters or ice breakers.

1. I’m looking for a gift for my brother—which of these do you like better?
2. I can’t decide where to go so I’m taking a survey—what’s the best vacation you’ve ever taken?
3. Have we met before? You look so familiar to me.
4. Do you like your Prius? I’m thinking about getting one.
5. Hi, my name is Sam. What’s yours?

Okay, it’s Saturday, so what are you waiting for? Get off the computer and say hello to someone new this weekend.

Please Pardon This Commercial Corruption: Top 5 Laughable Pickup Lines, Take 3

It’s time for the next installment of my series of laughable lines intended to get you through hump day and closer to the weekend. Surely, no one will be tempted to try any of these. Right?

1. “Is your name Pepsi? ‘Cause I’ve gotta have it.”
2. “You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna Pikachu.”
3. “Let’s make like a fabric softener and Snuggle.”
4. “You be the Dairy Queen and I’ll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I’ll do it your way.”
5. “Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.”

Ouch, those just hurt.

If you missed the first two installments in the series, find them here and here. Coming up next Wednesday: The Name Game: Top 5 Laughable Pickup Lines, Take 3

Don’t Drink and Dial: Top 5 Laughable Pickup Lines, Take 2

Today I bring you the second in a series of laughable lines intended to get you through hump day and closer to the weekend. Chuckle at these pickup lines and then make sure not to repeat them. If, however, you choose to ignore my advice, please share the disastrous details in the comments section.

1. “Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. She’d like your phone number. She wants to know where she can get hold of me in the morning.”
2. “Hello, Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.”
3. “There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.”
4. “Should I call you in the morning or just nudge you?”
5. “Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?”

Did you miss Run, Run, Runaway: Laughable Lines, Take 1? Find it here.

Coming up next Wednesday: Please Pardon This Commercial Corruption: Top 5 Laughable Pickup Lines, Take 3

Run, Run, Runaway: Top 5 Laughable Pickup Lines, Take 1

Here, in no particular order, is the first in a series of laughable pickup lines to get you through hump day and closer to the weekend. I repeat, laughable lines. These are to be laughed at, not used. Then again, if you ignore my advice and they work for you, let me know all about it!

1. “Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.”
2. “My friend and I have a bet that you won’t take off your pants in public.”
3. (holding out hand) “Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?”
4. “I can tell by the way you’re ignoring me that you want me.”
5. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

Feel free to add your own favorites in the comments section, along with any juicy details about the person delivering the line, the situation in which it was delivered, and anything else you’re willing to divulge.

Coming up next Wednesday:  Don’t Drink and Dial: Top 5 Laughable Pickup Lines, Take 2.