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Dear Nosy Parker…

Nosy Parker has an answer for all your dating questions

Dear Nosy Parker,

Over the last few weeks, I’ve had my eye on this new neighbor that moved in just down the street. I can’t help but notice that he’s good with his hands—he was outside sanding and staining cabinets as soon as the spring-like weather hit. I’ve also seen him playing tag with some kids down the street and having easy conversations with some of my other neighbors. In fact, he’s even had a few nice conversations with me. Warm, friendly, fun-loving—check! Even our politics are aligned, based on the yard signs he put out during the recent city elections.

It’s amazing how much you can learn about a person just by living in close proximity and paying a little attention! Much better than an online dating profile, huh?! Now, whether or not he’s picking up clues as to who I am, I have no idea.

So, here’s the problem. I saw him at the local diner the other morning and hid. Yes, that’s right. I hid. Mornings are not my best time of day and that particular morning was an especially unattractive one for me. I did not look sporty, or fresh-faced or endearingly “mussed.” And so I hid. Behind the menu at first (nice and big) and then behind my phone (annoyingly small).

Ever since this little incident, my friend has been berating me for not giving my neighbor my Greenlight Card that morning. Avoiding conversation was one thing, missing an opportunity altogether was another. I should have done it right as I was leaving…dropped the card at his table with a quick “hey, just wanted to give you this” and been on my merry way (head down, taking an important call, reading the paper—all at the same time if that’s what it took). He might not have even noticed how bad I looked or how ridiculous I was behaving because he’d be looking down at the card.

I say, that would have been a bad, bad idea. Greenlight Cards are to be given when I’m feeling good about myself, not bad. I’m right, aren’t I?


Neighborhood Watch


Dear Neighborhood Watch,

Wrong, wrong, wrong! Greenlight Cards should make you feel good about yourself because you’re taking control. You’re making a move—positive, forward movement is a very good thing. Your neighbors see you in all states—good, bad and embarrassingly skuzzy. In fact, boyfriends do too. So get over it. People notice—and are attracted by—your attitude more than your outfit or your hair or your makeup (or lack of it). A smile, a friendly hello, a direct look…those are the accoutrements that dress your attitude. They’re the things that really count. You were carrying your Greenlight Cards that morning, even though you felt “especially unattractive.” That fact alone tells me you know I’m right. So next time, don’t make excuses. Make a move. (And maybe wear a hat.)

But here’s another piece of advice. Don’t wait until next time. Just wait until he leaves for work. Then stick your Greenlight Card in his mailbox. When he goes online and types in your number, he’ll see your picture and know it’s from you. Do it! You know you want to…

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