Tag Archives: meeting someone

Ouch! Sometimes It Hurts To Think So Hard…

It’s a beautiful day in Tampa, Florida (my apologies to all of you who are dealing with snow and gray skies!), so instead of sitting down at my computer to think about what to write today, I decided to take a little run/walk and think along the way.  I came up with a million things to write about (ok, maybe seven) but finally, what dominated my thoughts was…how much time I spend thinking about everything.

And I wonder if you’re the same way.

In my mind (or to be more honest, in my dreams) I’m impulsive and spontaneous.  I see something I want and without a second thought I go for it.

In reality, I analyze.  I analyze why I want what I want and consider alternatives to the object of my desire.  I weigh how much I want it and what it will cost me (literally and figuratively).  I think about whether I should just wait–if it’s still there and I still want it later, then maybe it’s truly meant to be mine.

With any luck, you’re reading this and thinking “she’s crazy.”  But if you’re thinking “yeah, I do the same thing,” then keep reading.  Because I think this thoughtfulness, this penchant for analysis, this obsession with making sure we make the best possible choices is a serious detriment when it comes to dating.

Dating is easier when you don’t think so much.

Stop worrying about what it means that she was a little weird when you said good night–call her again, anyway.

Stop wondering if he’s interested in you as a girl-friend or a friend-friend and let him know what you’re interested in.

Stop obsessing over whether the flirtatious comment was really meant to be flirtatious and just assume it was.

There’s an easy way to end the “should I or shouldn’t I?” cycle and the painful second-guessing about what to say or how to act– just give someone a Greenlight Card.  It’s not a proposal of marriage, it’s a simple statement of interest.  It’s a compliment that could lead to a date that could lead to more dates that could lead to a relationship.

Oops, there I go again!

What I want you to do is stop right there at “it’s a compliment.”  Don’t think so far ahead.  In fact, stop thinking at all and just act on impulse and see what happens.

Greenlighting works best if  you just do it.

That’s really one of the main reasons to carry Greenlight Cards–they increase the likelihood that you’ll act instead of just thinking about it.  And thinking about it.  And thinking about it.

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Filed under Greenlighting, No More Regrets

Valentine Countdown: VDay-4

Part party, part sport…today’s entry in Greenlight Card’s Valentine Countdown: 21 Ways to Meet a Mate is one of my favorites. Imagine meeting your dream guy or girl over a big, red playground ball! How fun is that?!?

World Adult Kickball Association

Feb. 11: WAKA. WAKA. This is your chance to embrace your inner child or come to terms with playground angst of yesteryear. In the World Adult Kickball Association, you will not be the last to be picked–just register, show up, and get ready to WAKA the ball! Their motto is “Best Parties. Best Games. Best Friends.” What a fun way to meet new people, so go online and see if there’s a spring league near you that’s registering right now.

Feb. 10: Let’s get physical, physical…I wanna get physical… Enough with the treadmill! Unplug your earbuds and head over to the free weights–a better singles scene than you’ll find at happy hour at your favorite dive. Really.

Feb. 9: Attending a tasting or cooking demonstration is a great way to meet new people–and trying a hands-on cooking class is even better. Cooking is chemistry, after all. Maybe you’ll find a little extra chemistry with a classmate.

Feb. 8: This one’s for all of you who’ve had it up to here with all the snow and ice. Look for a group trip and sign up before all the spots are taken. There are, of course, plenty of singles’ cruises and singles groups who offer great trips, but if that feels a little too weird to you, check out your college alumni office-they often plan great excursions. Or surf on over to voluntourism.org for a feel-good, do-good getaway.

Feb. 7: Being a single parent is tough, but since you want the best for your child, make a point to go to the next PTA meeting. Then look around for parents without partners…

Feb. 6: It’s Super Bowl Sunday! Watch with a crowd and make sure to look up now and then to see who else is around. Cheering for the same team–or engaging in a little friendly competition–can spark an extra dose of attraction.  Or if you absolutely hate football, go wherever the game isn’t, and see who else shares your disinterest.

Feb. 5: Put your local wine shop at the top of your to-do list today. But give yourself time to go in and browse. Get into a conversation about what’s good. Finding great wine (especially at a great price) is like a treasure hunt. What someone’s looking for–a bargain, a hostess gift, the perfect complement to a new recipe–gives you a clue about the person buying, and whether they’re worth a longer conversation.

Feb. 4: Friday night I crashed her party…channel your inner Billy Joel and get yourself invited to your friend’s friend’s party. Going to a friend’s party doesn’t count, you probably already know most everyone there. Instead, go to your friend’s friend’s party and see some new faces. It’s fun to mix things up now and again, isn’t it?

Feb. 3: This one takes a little Chutzpah–enroll in an adult acting class. Some of the best performers are shy in “real life” so even if you’re the wallflower type, that’s really no excuse. Acting lets you pretend to be someone else and in the end puts you more in touch with who you are. Plus you’ll meet a lot of fun people in class and get to know them pretty intimately. Keep your Greenlight Cards handy and maybe an onstage scene will lead to an offstage romance.

Feb. 2: In honor of hump day, join a networking group or, if that’s too big a commitment, schedule in time to attend at least one networking event–this one simple move could get you over the hump and onto something bigger in both your career and your love life. You’ll probably be surprised how much help and motivation you can find among a group of strangers.

Feb. 1: Lace up your running shoes and head over to your local Irish pub’s weekly fun run. What? That’s not an option in your town? Well it is in mine and it’s hugely popular, so if it’s missing where you live, pick your favorite fun establishment and suggest it.

Jan. 31: Here’s one I’ve suggested before. Go get in line at the Genius Bar at the Apple store. Trendy, friendly, intelligent, connected–they’re job requirements there, you know!

Jan. 30: Browse your neighborhood bookstore for the next title by your favorite author. If you see someone interesting in the same aisle, hey, maybe you two have something in common. At least it’s easy to break the ice and say hello.

Jan. 29: Hang out in the stands and talk about your weekend plans during your kids’ sports games or practices. It’s a stealthy way to figure out who’s single and to signal your own availability. (I once heard a clever woman at a Little League game tell the guy next to her that she was going bathing suit shopping  because it was her ex’s weekend with the kids…um, if he didn’t get that hint he wasn’t worth the trouble!)

Jan. 28: Happy hour not all that fruitful? Instead of heading home, stop in at Home Depot (or your favorite home improvement store) and see who’s there on a Friday night. Good chance you’ll find some single people in the store.

Jan. 27: Attend your friend’s friend’s party. You’ll be sure to meet someone new if you break away from your usual crowd.

Jan. 26: Don’t complain about the snow, get up and go! (Thankfully, I’m not about to suggest a poetry reading. The rhymes stop here, I promise.) Ski a few runs, then head for the lodge with those cute flushed cheeks and check out the scenery. And don’t forget to say “hi,” it works much better than a cheesy pick up line.

Jan. 25: Head over to the car dealership and get your car tuned up while you wait. (Just scooch on over and make room for someone else to sit next to you on one of those cushy leather sofas. Long, boring wait? Gone!)

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Filed under Dating Unplugged, Offline Dating, Valentine's Day

Aaron Doesn’t Want to be “That Guy”

“That guy.”

You know, the one who sidles up to every hot woman at the gym and says “hey, you must come here often.”

That guy who plays the numbers game, coming on to as many women as possible, hoping one will take the bait.

Nope, Aaron’s not that guy, but then again, he does have eyes, and feelings, and there are all those pheromones floating around the gym.

So Aaron’s not looking at every woman (because he’s not that guy), but he does notice one in particular.  And, guess what? He misses the opportunity.  Watch the short video here.

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Filed under Greenlighting, Inspiration, Missed Connections, video