It’s a beautiful day in Tampa, Florida (my apologies to all of you who are dealing with snow and gray skies!), so instead of sitting down at my computer to think about what to write today, I decided to take a little run/walk and think along the way. I came up with a million things to write about (ok, maybe seven) but finally, what dominated my thoughts was…how much time I spend thinking about everything.
And I wonder if you’re the same way.
In my mind (or to be more honest, in my dreams) I’m impulsive and spontaneous. I see something I want and without a second thought I go for it.
In reality, I analyze. I analyze why I want what I want and consider alternatives to the object of my desire. I weigh how much I want it and what it will cost me (literally and figuratively). I think about whether I should just wait–if it’s still there and I still want it later, then maybe it’s truly meant to be mine.
With any luck, you’re reading this and thinking “she’s crazy.” But if you’re thinking “yeah, I do the same thing,” then keep reading. Because I think this thoughtfulness, this penchant for analysis, this obsession with making sure we make the best possible choices is a serious detriment when it comes to dating.
Dating is easier when you don’t think so much.
Stop worrying about what it means that she was a little weird when you said good night–call her again, anyway.
Stop wondering if he’s interested in you as a girl-friend or a friend-friend and let him know what you’re interested in.
Stop obsessing over whether the flirtatious comment was really meant to be flirtatious and just assume it was.
There’s an easy way to end the “should I or shouldn’t I?” cycle and the painful second-guessing about what to say or how to act– just give someone a Greenlight Card. It’s not a proposal of marriage, it’s a simple statement of interest. It’s a compliment that could lead to a date that could lead to more dates that could lead to a relationship.
Oops, there I go again!
What I want you to do is stop right there at “it’s a compliment.” Don’t think so far ahead. In fact, stop thinking at all and just act on impulse and see what happens.
Greenlighting works best if you just do it.
That’s really one of the main reasons to carry Greenlight Cards–they increase the likelihood that you’ll act instead of just thinking about it. And thinking about it. And thinking about it.