Tag Archives: greenlight card

Dear Nosy Parker…

Nosy Parker has an answer for all your dating questions

Dear Nosy Parker,

Over the last few weeks, I’ve had my eye on this new neighbor that moved in just down the street. I can’t help but notice that he’s good with his hands—he was outside sanding and staining cabinets as soon as the spring-like weather hit. I’ve also seen him playing tag with some kids down the street and having easy conversations with some of my other neighbors. In fact, he’s even had a few nice conversations with me. Warm, friendly, fun-loving—check! Even our politics are aligned, based on the yard signs he put out during the recent city elections.

It’s amazing how much you can learn about a person just by living in close proximity and paying a little attention! Much better than an online dating profile, huh?! Now, whether or not he’s picking up clues as to who I am, I have no idea.

So, here’s the problem. I saw him at the local diner the other morning and hid. Yes, that’s right. I hid. Mornings are not my best time of day and that particular morning was an especially unattractive one for me. I did not look sporty, or fresh-faced or endearingly “mussed.” And so I hid. Behind the menu at first (nice and big) and then behind my phone (annoyingly small).

Ever since this little incident, my friend has been berating me for not giving my neighbor my Greenlight Card that morning. Avoiding conversation was one thing, missing an opportunity altogether was another. I should have done it right as I was leaving…dropped the card at his table with a quick “hey, just wanted to give you this” and been on my merry way (head down, taking an important call, reading the paper—all at the same time if that’s what it took). He might not have even noticed how bad I looked or how ridiculous I was behaving because he’d be looking down at the card.

I say, that would have been a bad, bad idea. Greenlight Cards are to be given when I’m feeling good about myself, not bad. I’m right, aren’t I?

Signed,

Neighborhood Watch

 

Dear Neighborhood Watch,

Wrong, wrong, wrong! Greenlight Cards should make you feel good about yourself because you’re taking control. You’re making a move—positive, forward movement is a very good thing. Your neighbors see you in all states—good, bad and embarrassingly skuzzy. In fact, boyfriends do too. So get over it. People notice—and are attracted by—your attitude more than your outfit or your hair or your makeup (or lack of it). A smile, a friendly hello, a direct look…those are the accoutrements that dress your attitude. They’re the things that really count. You were carrying your Greenlight Cards that morning, even though you felt “especially unattractive.” That fact alone tells me you know I’m right. So next time, don’t make excuses. Make a move. (And maybe wear a hat.)

But here’s another piece of advice. Don’t wait until next time. Just wait until he leaves for work. Then stick your Greenlight Card in his mailbox. When he goes online and types in your number, he’ll see your picture and know it’s from you. Do it! You know you want to…

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I Vote For…

About.com Reader's Choice Best Dating-Related Blog Finalist

The AAbout.com Reader's Choice Best New Dating Site of 2011 Finalistcademy Awards, the About.com Readers’ Choice Awards, municipal elections, a new season of American Idol.  Everywhere I turn, there’s voting, voting and more voting.  (An aside about About.com–“Readers’ choice” all comes down to devoted voting.  A big THANK YOU to those of you who are voting everyday for Greenlight Card.  It makes us feel great.  Voting ends on March 8– if you’re so inclined, by all means, click on the images and vote.) But all this voting got me to thinking.

These things aren’t up for election or in a contest, but if they were, I’d be voting for them:

  • Honesty: You can elect not to tell your height or weight or income, just don’t lie about it!

  • Disclosure, when it matters: Not admitting to the fact that you’re over 40 and living with your parents–NOT okay!  Admitting that you feel compelled to use a Q-tip to clean between your toes every night–not necessary.

  • Kindness: We could all use a little more in our lives.  Be kind to others.  And be kind to yourself, too.

  • Getting serious: If you spend too much time worrying about making a commitment, you’ll never do it.  Dive in with your whole heart.
  • Lightening up: Some things just aren’t as important as we make them out to be.  Save your energy for the things that really do matter.

  • Caring: That “oh-so-cool” demeanor–it’s not really all that cool.
  • Being present: With all of our gadgets and the ever-present existence of the Internet, are you truly focusing on what’s happening around you?  Turn off those devices and give your kid, your friend or your date your full attention.  Aaahhhh.  It feels good, doesn’t it?
  • Going for it: Shoulda, woulda, coulda?  Been there and not doing it anymore!

What about you–what do you think is worth your vote?

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Valentine Countdown: VDay – 1

Drumroll, please…tomorrow is the day for lovebirds to sing and if you don’t have someone to be all lovey-dovey with, it might be really annoying or even depressing. Or it can be just another day, with the promise of half-price candy the day after. For the last installment of Greenlight Card‘s Valentine Countdown: 21 Ways to Meet a Mate, I’m not going to suggest another class to join or place to go…your mission for tomorrow is to embrace the idea that keeps on giving…

Feb. 14: It’s all about you today. Make yourself feel good. Do what brings you joy. Talk to people who lift you up. All the books and movies and plays and your wise Aunt Mabel are exactly right when they say that if you can’t make yourself happy, no one else can. So invest your time and energy into your personal happiness first. Give yourself what you need and what you want. And realize that there’s that crazy phenomenon where we seem to find what we’re looking for when we stop trying so hard to find it. I hope you use my “ways to meet a mate” ideas as ways to go out and have fun and enjoy life. Because meeting a mate, or a date for that matter, shouldn’t be what it takes to make you happy–it should just make you happier.

But wait–I promised 21 ways to meet a mate, and today’s idea makes only 20. Well, today is a two-fer day. Here’s one final way to meet someone and it goes along with all the other ideas. USE YOUR GREENLIGHT CARDS!! Because if you don’t let someone know you’re interested, you just may be letting the perfect opportunity pass right by.

Feb. 13: Be an art tart…go see what’s hangin’ at a local gallery. Just don’t get so absorbed in what’s on the walls that you forget to look at who’s roaming the halls! Whether the piece you’re looking at moves you or confuses you, talk about it with another art gallery go-er and you’re sure to strike up an interesting conversation.

Feb. 12: Use your weekend wisely–volunteer for a cause you care about. While you’re making a difference (the primary goal!), you just may meet someone you have something in common with. Having at least this one thing you both care about is a great start. Is there a more natural, comfortable way to meet someone than while working on a project together? I don’t think so. Plus, I feel certain there are good-deed endorphins that kick in and make you extra attractive!

Feb. 11: WAKA. WAKA. This is your chance to embrace your inner child or come to terms with playground angst of yesteryear. In the World Adult Kickball Association, you will not be the last to be picked–just register, show up, and get ready to WAKA the ball! Their motto is “Best Parties. Best Games. Best Friends.” What a fun way to meet new people, so go online and see if there’s a spring league near you that’s registering right now.

Feb. 10: Let’s get physical, physical…I wanna get physical… Enough with the treadmill! Unplug your earbuds and head over to the free weights–a better singles scene than you’ll find at happy hour at your favorite dive. Really.

Feb. 9: Attending a tasting or cooking demonstration is a great way to meet new people–and trying a hands-on cooking class is even better. Cooking is chemistry, after all. Maybe you’ll find a little extra chemistry with a classmate.

Feb. 8: This one’s for all of you who’ve had it up to here with all the snow and ice. Look for a group trip and sign up before all the spots are taken. There are, of course, plenty of singles’ cruises and singles groups who offer great trips, but if that feels a little too weird to you, check out your college alumni office-they often plan great excursions. Or surf on over to voluntourism.org for a feel-good, do-good getaway.

Feb. 7: Being a single parent is tough, but since you want the best for your child, make a point to go to the next PTA meeting. Then look around for parents without partners…

Feb. 6: It’s Super Bowl Sunday! Watch with a crowd and make sure to look up now and then to see who else is around. Cheering for the same team–or engaging in a little friendly competition–can spark an extra dose of attraction.  Or if you absolutely hate football, go wherever the game isn’t, and see who else shares your disinterest.

Feb. 5: Put your local wine shop at the top of your to-do list today. But give yourself time to go in and browse. Get into a conversation about what’s good. Finding great wine (especially at a great price) is like a treasure hunt. What someone’s looking for–a bargain, a hostess gift, the perfect complement to a new recipe–gives you a clue about the person buying, and whether they’re worth a longer conversation.

Feb. 4: Friday night I crashed her party…channel your inner Billy Joel and get yourself invited to your friend’s friend’s party. Going to a friend’s party doesn’t count, you probably already know most everyone there. Instead, go to your friend’s friend’s party and see some new faces. It’s fun to mix things up now and again, isn’t it?

Feb. 3: This one takes a little Chutzpah–enroll in an adult acting class. Some of the best performers are shy in “real life” so even if you’re the wallflower type, that’s really no excuse. Acting lets you pretend to be someone else and in the end puts you more in touch with who you are. Plus you’ll meet a lot of fun people in class and get to know them pretty intimately. Keep your Greenlight Cards handy and maybe an onstage scene will lead to an offstage romance.

Feb. 2: In honor of hump day, join a networking group or, if that’s too big a commitment, schedule in time to attend at least one networking event–this one simple move could get you over the hump and onto something bigger in both your career and your love life. You’ll probably be surprised how much help and motivation you can find among a group of strangers.

Feb. 1: Lace up your running shoes and head over to your local Irish pub’s weekly fun run. What? That’s not an option in your town? Well it is in mine and it’s hugely popular, so if it’s missing where you live, pick your favorite fun establishment and suggest it.

Jan. 31: Here’s one I’ve suggested before. Go get in line at the Genius Bar at the Apple store. Trendy, friendly, intelligent, connected–they’re job requirements there, you know!

Jan. 30: Browse your neighborhood bookstore for the next title by your favorite author. If you see someone interesting in the same aisle, hey, maybe you two have something in common. At least it’s easy to break the ice and say hello.

Jan. 29: Hang out in the stands and talk about your weekend plans during your kids’ sports games or practices. It’s a stealthy way to figure out who’s single and to signal your own availability. (I once heard a clever woman at a Little League game tell the guy next to her that she was going bathing suit shopping  because it was her ex’s weekend with the kids…um, if he didn’t get that hint he wasn’t worth the trouble!)

Jan. 28: Happy hour not all that fruitful? Instead of heading home, stop in at Home Depot (or your favorite home improvement store) and see who’s there on a Friday night. Good chance you’ll find some single people in the store.

Jan. 27: Attend your friend’s friend’s party. You’ll be sure to meet someone new if you break away from your usual crowd.

Jan. 26: Don’t complain about the snow, get up and go! (Thankfully, I’m not about to suggest a poetry reading. The rhymes stop here, I promise.) Ski a few runs, then head for the lodge with those cute flushed cheeks and check out the scenery. And don’t forget to say “hi,” it works much better than a cheesy pick up line.

Jan. 25: Head over to the car dealership and get your car tuned up while you wait. (Just scooch on over and make room for someone else to sit next to you on one of those cushy leather sofas. Long, boring wait? Gone!)

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Filed under Dating Unplugged, Inspiration, Valentine's Day

Valentine Countdown: VDay-14

You’re making it through Monday, so let’s think about having a little fun tomorrow, as Greenlight Card’s Valentine Countdown-21 Ways to Meet Your Mate keeps on keepin’ on.

Feb. 1: Lace up your running shoes and head over to your local Irish pub’s weekly fun run. What? That’s not an option in your town? Well it is in mine and it’s hugely popular, so if it’s missing where you live, pick your favorite fun establishment and suggest it.

Jan. 31: Here’s one I’ve suggested before. Go get in line at the Genius Bar at the Apple store. Trendy, friendly, intelligent, connected–they’re job requirements there, you know!

Jan. 30: Browse your neighborhood bookstore for the next title by your favorite author. If you see someone interesting in the same aisle, hey, maybe you two have something in common. At least it’s easy to break the ice and say hello.

Jan. 29: Hang out in the stands and talk about your weekend plans during your kids’ sports games or practices. It’s a stealthy way to figure out who’s single and to signal your own availability. (I once heard a clever woman at a Little League game tell the guy next to her that she was going bathing suit shopping  because it was her ex’s weekend with the kids…um, if he didn’t get that hint he wasn’t worth the trouble!)

Jan. 28: Happy hour not all that fruitful? Instead of heading home, stop in at Home Depot (or your favorite home improvement store) and see who’s there on a Friday night. Good chance you’ll find some single people in the store.

Jan. 27: Attend your friend’s friend’s party. You’ll be sure to meet someone new if you break away from your usual crowd.

Jan. 26: Don’t complain about the snow, get up and go! (Thankfully, I’m not about to suggest a poetry reading. The rhymes stop here, I promise.) Ski a few runs, then head for the lodge with those cute flushed cheeks and check out the scenery. And don’t forget to say “hi,” it works much better than a cheesy pick up line.

Jan. 25: Head over to the car dealership and get your car tuned up while you wait. (Just scooch on over and make room for someone else to sit next to you on one of those cushy leather sofas. Long, boring wait? Gone!)

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Filed under Dating Unplugged, Offline Dating, Valentine's Day

Valentine Countdown: VDay – 15

It’s the last day of the weekend, which always makes me a little sad…so let’s keep going with our Valentine Countdown-21 Ways to Meet Your Mate. Start your Monday off in a positive way by approaching someone new and interesting.

Jan. 31: Here’s one I’ve suggested before. Go get in line at the Genius Bar at the Apple store. Trendy, friendly, intelligent, connected–they’re job requirements there, you know!

Jan. 30: Browse your neighborhood bookstore for the next title by your favorite author. If you see someone interesting in the same aisle, hey, maybe you two have something in common. At least it’s easy to break the ice and say hello.

Jan. 29: Hang out in the stands and talk about your weekend plans during your kids’ sports games or practices. It’s a stealthy way to figure out who’s single and to signal your own availability. (I once heard a clever woman at a Little League game tell the guy next to her that she was going bathing suit shopping  because it was her ex’s weekend with the kids…um, if he didn’t get that hint he wasn’t worth the trouble!)

Jan. 28: Happy hour not all that fruitful? Instead of heading home, stop in at Home Depot (or your favorite home improvement store) and see who’s there on a Friday night. Good chance you’ll find some single people in the store.

Jan. 27: Attend your friend’s friend’s party. You’ll be sure to meet someone new if you break away from your usual crowd.

Jan. 26: Don’t complain about the snow, get up and go! (Thankfully, I’m not about to suggest a poetry reading. The rhymes stop here, I promise.) Ski a few runs, then head for the lodge with those cute flushed cheeks and check out the scenery. And don’t forget to say “hi,” it works much better than a cheesy pick up line.

Jan. 25: Head over to the car dealership and get your car tuned up while you wait. (Just scooch on over and make room for someone else to sit next to you on one of those cushy leather sofas. Long, boring wait? Gone!)

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Filed under Dating Unplugged, Offline Dating, Valentine's Day

Valentine Countdown: VDay – 16

Planning on a day of rest Sunday? Well, maybe Greenlight Card’s latest “meet your mate” Valentine Countdown idea will inspire you to make just a little effort–in a relaxing way, of course!

Jan. 30: Browse your neighborhood bookstore for the next title by your favorite author. If you see someone interesting in the same aisle, hey, maybe you two have something in common. At least it’s easy to break the ice and say hello.

Jan. 29: Hang out in the stands and talk about your weekend plans during your kids’ sports games or practices. It’s a stealthy way to figure out who’s single and to signal your own availability. (I once heard a clever woman at a Little League game tell the guy next to her that she was going bathing suit shopping  because it was her ex’s weekend with the kids…um, if he didn’t get that hint he wasn’t worth the trouble!)

Jan. 28: Happy hour not all that fruitful? Instead of heading home, stop in at Home Depot (or your favorite home improvement store) and see who’s there on a Friday night. Good chance you’ll find some single people in the store.

Jan. 27: Attend your friend’s friend’s party. You’ll be sure to meet someone new if you break away from your usual crowd.

Jan. 26: Don’t complain about the snow, get up and go! (Thankfully, I’m not about to suggest a poetry reading. The rhymes stop here, I promise.) Ski a few runs, then head for the lodge with those cute flushed cheeks and check out the scenery. And don’t forget to say “hi,” it works much better than a cheesy pick up line.

Jan. 25: Head over to the car dealership and get your car tuned up while you wait. (Just scooch on over and make room for someone else to sit next to you on one of those cushy leather sofas. Long, boring wait? Gone!)

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Filed under Dating Unplugged, Offline Dating, Valentine's Day

The Best…

Who launched the best new dating site of 2010?  We did! We did!

Who’s got the best dating site, period?  US!

Who’s got the best dating-related blog?  Greenlight Card!  Give me a G. Give me an R. Give me an E…

Okay, okay, clearly that would take way too long and to be honest with you the cheerleading thing was never me.

BUT…there is a contest going on right now at About.com and I wanted to get your attention. We at GreenlightCard.com are sincerely trying to provide something new and unique and helpful to single people who would like to have more dates and less dating angst.

So, if you think we’re onto something here, we’d appreciate your nomination. And the great thing is it only takes two minutes to do.

Step one: Click here or type this into your browser: http://dating.about.com/library/2011ReadersChoice/bl-readers-choice-awards-2011.htm

Step two: Nominate us in any or all of the following categories:

(There are other subjects that you can leave blank.)

Step three: Hit “Send Feedback”

Step four: Ha! There is no step four. See how easy that was? Now you can get back to living your life, with your eyes and your attitude wide open, so you can be ready to embrace the next chance encounter that happens to come your way. Because you’re ready. You’ve got your Greenlight Cards.

Oh, and one more thing. Thank you!! From the bottom of our hearts.

And speaking of hearts, guess what my next post will be about? That’s right! Valentine’s Day. Surely you’ve noticed all those hearts and flowers, back on the shelves, beckoning. I even saw a KY Intense Valentine’s commercial last night!! So stay tuned…

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Filed under contest, Greenlighting, Valentine's Day

Let There Be Light

The strangest thing happened to me this morning.

The alarm had buzzed and so, as I do every morning, I turned it off, rolled over, and kept my eyes shut.  I lay there thinking of all the reasons I needed to get up, what I needed to do, how long it would take, realizing that every minute I stayed there thinking was a minute of stress I was adding to my morning. And yet, I still couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes.

Several minutes passed as I remained in that cartoon state where one side of my conscience was telling me to get up and the other was saying “just a couple minutes more.”  And then, this very strange thing happened.

The lights above my bed turned on.

Hello! Talk about a wake up call. I am sure there is a scientific explanation for why the lights went on of their own accord, but I’m not a science-y type of girl. The lights were sending me a clear message: “Enough! Stop thinking about what you need to do and just do it!!”

And so, I got up.

And I did all the morning things I had to do and got on with my day.  And I kept thinking…I’ve got to write about this.  And then I wondered whether readers would really believe I didn’t make this up. Was it all an invention in order to put forth that overused, annoying message–“Just do it!”–in a new way?

Well, I am telling you it really happened. And I’m not sure as I write this that the total weirdness of it comes through. So just for a second, go lie down in a very dark room and then picture it gradually but quickly getting lighter and lighter until the room is brightly lit. Like a time lapse scene from a movie only it’s the chandelier and not the sun that’s lighting up your room.

So what’s the takeaway? I think this is something all of us need. And often. Not necessarily to get ourselves out of bed but to get ourselves moving towards something we want but aren’t doing enough to get. It applies to many facets of our lives but of course, since this is GreenlightCard.com’s blog, I’m especially thinking about dating.

Too often, we want to date but we let our busy lives serve as an excuse for not making any effort to meet someone. So we convince ourselves we’re too busy or our lives are too complicated or that we know every available person in town and none of them are right for us.

Enough! Stop thinking about what you need to do and just do it.

You know you won’t meet anyone if you go home after work and just stay there, night after night. You know you won’t meet anyone new if you continue to move in the same exact circles week after week after week. And you know you are VERY UNLIKELY to get a date with the person you’ve been dreaming of if you don’t at least do something obvious to let that person know you’re interested. (Hint, hint–this is where your Greenlight Cards come in handy!)

I’m grateful the lights went on this morning. My day started out smoothly and I’m getting things done. I feel confident and able. And I’ll remember the feeling tomorrow when my alarm buzzes. Maybe, just maybe, it’ll encourage me to get up instead of rolling over for that last five minutes of unproductive procrastination.

As long as the lights don’t decide to turn themselves on at 6:40 a.m. on Saturday morning, I’m good.

 

 

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You Go, Then I’ll Go…Reflecting on The Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear

If you’re a loyal reader, you know that our Greenlight Card staff headed to Washington, D.C. last weekend to join hundreds of thousands of people at the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear.

We went for several reasons:

  • Fun
  • Inspiration
  • A sense of community
  • Fun
  • The chance to talk about the attraction of “like-minded” people
  • Fun

We found all the things we went looking for, and the great music and well-orchestrated show turned out to be a bonus.

We started the weekend on Friday night with a meetup at Co Co. Sala.  I’ll write a separate blog post on that, but in order to avoid keeping you in suspense I’ll tell you now that it was a great venue, a fun evening and also rather productive —we watched two couples pair up and head out the door to continue getting to know each other outside the group. Ahh, our inner yentas were satisfied…but more than that, we were thrilled to meet such interesting, sincere, down-to-earth people.

And the next day was the rally. At the end of the rally, Jon Stewart had his “moment of sincerity”—during which he basically asked Washington, D.C. and the news media to play nice, and reminded the crowd that most of us do that every day of our lives. “You go, then I’ll go,” said Stewart. “That’s what we do every damn day!”

He went on to explain, with no political proselytizing whatsoever, that we’re all on a metaphoric highway and even if we don’t like the bumper sticker or the aggressive behavior of the car in front of us, we pause for a minute and then say once again, “you go, then I’ll go.”  To truly appreciate this message, listen to him tell it in his own words.

But why I am writing about this in a dating blog?

Because “you go, then I’ll go” applies to relationships, too. And even to the stage that comes before the relationship–meeting people and choosing to date them. We all need to be open minded and accepting because sticking to preconceived ideas of what our “type” looks like and acts like is way too limiting.

Let people into your life, give them a turn, see if they might be a fit after all.

And once you’re in a relationship, be willing to compromise. Admittedly, this gets a lot harder as you get older and more set in your routines, but love is a great incentive to give a little–and get a lot!

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Filed under DC Single Meetup, Inspiration, meetup, Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear

Former PC Meets Forever Mac: Could This Be You?

You are a recent convert, having made the switch from PC to Mac right after leaving the corporate world for a small, boutique business of your own. Unfortunately, leaving the corner cubicle also means losing your IT support.

And so, you find yourself in a line at the “genius bar,” wondering if these Mac fanatics are just a little too full of themselves. Finally, it’s your turn and you realize why it took awhile. This guy treats you like you’re his only customer. He makes eye contact, something the IT guy in the old office could never manage to do (creepy!), asks you what your problem is, and then proceeds to show you everything you need to know.

And then, he invites you to come back. Not in that “have a nice day, come again” robotic sort of way, but specifically asks you to make another appointment so that he can give you a personal tour of your own computer and its many cool features. Having definitely warmed up to Mr. Mac, you make a lame “your place or mine?” joke but he appears not to have heard it as he types in the appointment on your calendar so you won’t forget.

After a week of thinking about this Mac guru, you’re ready for the next appointment. You arrive. He’s there, and he gives you the full tour. And then what? You can’t exactly prolong the conversation since there are people waiting for their appointments. No way do you have the guts to write out your phone number and suggest he call.

So you go home. And you think about Macho Mac more than once. You find excuses to go to the mall in hopes he’ll take a coffee break. You even go into the store and browse, but he doesn’t even notice you. In fact, he’s busy giving another very attractive new Mac owner a tour of her computer.

Eventually, you hear about this new dating trend—Greenlight Cards. The idea is to give a card to someone to let him know you’ve sensed some chemistry and would like to go out.

Hmm, you think, now when exactly would I use those?

And then you think of the Mac guy. (Again.)

And you open up that cool new laptop of yours and go online to order some Greenlight Cards and some very complicated new software.

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Filed under Dating Unplugged, Greenlighting, Inspiration, No More Excuses, No More Regrets, Offline Dating, The Single Life, Worth the Effort