Are you highly motivated to experience change in your love life? Then you’re just like dating coach Annie Gleason’s clients. In today’s blog, I bring you a new interview from the dating trenches.
In her own words: Annie coaches clients in a holistic manner, helping them to build confidence by building awareness of body language, teaching them techniques to overcome anxiety, as well as understanding and integrating the dynamics of successful courtship. Her focus includes working with the most up-to-date knowledge of the science of romance with common dating practices, and translating the opposite sex to each other. She also works with personal image, is an expert on online dating, takes clients on Flirting Field Trips, and helps her clients create a welcoming and sexy home environment.
Olive Juice: How did you become a dating expert?
Annie Gleason: I became a dating coach after spending 20+ years in a business where 98% of my customers, who I saw frequently, were men. Many of them repeatedly sought my advice about their love lives. I realized that men see dating/relationship dilemmas in a very different way than women do. I coached part time for several years, then did a year long dating coach training program with Susan Bradley as I jumped into coaching full time in 2007.
Olive Juice: What’s the most common thing people who want to meet other single people do wrong?
Annie Gleason: They are often embarrassed that they are looking, and wait to be found. Or they focus on who they want, instead of being open to those who are interested in them.
Olive Juice: How would you describe what it’s like to be single today?
Annie Gleason: Single people have incredible freedom to follow their dreams and create fulfilling lives. However, many single successful, social people yearn for a mate. Being single today is challenging partly because there is a perception that there are so many choices. Even if you live in a small town, the internet opens up the dating world. It gives many people unrealistic expectations about what kind of mate might be available to them. You can only meet one person at a time, and it’s human nature to want someone/something just a little better–whether it’s realistic or not. Social changes hamper dating, as there is not a culturally accepted courtship structure. The ideal of “soul mate” dominates our idea of love.
Olive Juice: What’s the greatest challenge for single people who are serious about wanting to meet their soul mate?
Annie Gleason: The biggest challenge for those who want to meet their soul mate is to be open to getting to know those who don’t match your picture of perfection. It’s important to objectively analyze your criteria for soul mate. No one is going to be a better husband because he’s over 6 feet tall, loves to dance or has a sailboat. Life will change, and his kindness, flexibility and ability to compromise will be what makes it or breaks it.
Olive Juice: What’s the best advice you can give to someone who says they just can’t meet anyone?
Annie Gleason: Basics: look your best every time you leave the house, smile at strangers, go out at least two nights a week, meet people online. Yes, it’s work, but you invest time in developing every other area of your life. Don’t rely on first impressions. And don’t write someone off until after the third date.
Olive Juice: What do you think about the idea behind Greenlight Card–that single people should get out there and flirt–and do what they can to avoid missing out on an opportunity to meet someone they’re attracted to?
Annie Gleason: I think it’s great that there are tools like Greenlight Cards out there–the more tools we have for people to meet others, the better.
Olive Juice: Great answers, but what if readers have more questions?
Annie Gleason: If you want answers to other dating questions, you can “ask Annie” here.
If you know someone who would make a great addition to this occasional, ongoing series of interviews, email me or make a suggestion in the comments section!