Yesterday, I suggested you enlist a friend to be your wingman. As I explained, wingman is a non-gender-specific term, used because it’s a little unwieldy to say wingman/woman throughout this post. So please don’t get all politically correct on me, just start thinking about who you know who has the following five attributes:
- The wingman must be fun. If you have fun with your wingman, the outing is a success, whether you meet someone interesting or not. What’s more, if you’re relaxed and having fun with your wingman, you will exude attractiveness. Your personality will shine brightly, reaching way across the room. You magnet, you.
- The wingman must be a little pushy. But just a little. The point of the wingman is to encourage you to be a little more daring than you might be if you were left to your own devices. (Which isn’t that hard, if you spent last weekend on the couch.) On the other hand, if your wingman is too pushy, you will resist. You will be testy and annoyed. A glare is not the same as a bright, shining personality. Much less attractive.
- The wingman must be open and friendly. The wingman, who is hopefully married and just thankful to get some time out of the house, should have no fear of walking up and talking to people you find attractive. After all, the wingman has nothing to gain or lose–the wingman is not trying to find a date, you are–so it’s not nearly as nerve-wracking as it is for you.
- The wingman must complement, rather than compete. Have you ever felt invisible, with a friend soaking up all the attention, while you stand mutely by, ignored? Take it from me, it is not a fun feeling. That’s why I say your wingman should complement you. That wingman needs to be aware of you at all times. If you aren’t part of the conversation, the wingman brings you into it and shows off your very best attributes. That’s the wingman’s job. Complement (with an “e”) means the wingman makes you look better. Of course he or she can compliment (with an “i”) you, too…a nice little ego boost is always appreciated.
- And finally, the wingman must be fun. Oh, did I mention that already? Well, I can’t emphasize it enough. If you take dating too seriously, dating becomes a drag and so do you.
So go out, be open to meeting new people, enjoy your friends and enjoy yourself. Be you, and the dates will come.