I was talking to a woman on the phone the other day and she wanted to know about Greenlight Card. She listened politely, she asked questions, she talked about her frustrations with meeting people. Finally, she spilled it. What she really wanted was to meet someone through a friend. She felt like she knew a lot of people, none of whom met the critical criteria of being both available and of romantic interest to her. So, in her mind, the only way she’d meet someone to go out with would be through a friend.
I happen to agree that meeting someone through a friend can be a great thing. It’s sort of like picking someone who comes with a seal of approval—and the seal of approval is bestowed upon you, too. But going out with a friend of a friend can also be, well, not such a great thing. If you break up, the drama could spill over into your friendship with the matchmaker. Or you might waste more time than you would otherwise trying to make something work when the chemistry just isn’t there—because you don’t want to hurt your friend’s feelings, or the friend of your friend’s feelings. When the match is right, it’s great. When it’s wrong, it can get a little messy.
So the answer is…and you knew this was coming…you have to put yourself out there. But the good news is, that friend whom you may not want to set you up, can absolutely help you meet new people.
Enlist your friend to be your wingman. (Now, let me just make it clear that despite the fact that “man” is part of the word, the wingman I am talking about is not gender specific. Man or woman, take your pick.)
Your friend’s mission is not to introduce you to someone he or she knows, but to get you out and about.
Tomorrow, I’ll tell you the attributes of a great wingman, so you can pick the friend who is most qualified for wingman status. Don’t forget to check back in.